Originally posted on Bebo, 6/9/09
To not sound like an arrogant twat, driving games have always been something of a speciality of mine. The lovely effect of going round a track in a vehicle, up against nothing more than yourself, striving for perfection in everything. From the back of MS: PR, we see words and phrases like "RIP IT UP!" "brutal off-road racing," "dangerous and unpredictable," "rampage," "devastating," and "reckless fun," you know you'll be getting nothing like that. Point down immediately, but maybe we'll get some fun destroying some cars. And hey, it works! Up to a point. When you're in a car, which is bigger than the car (or bike) next to you, and you slam into them, either hitting them into a rock, or hitting them off a cliff, it excites that part of the brain that gets off on watching Crash on Dave, it puts a smile on your face. Especially the tremendous crunching noise you get when you hit a guy off a bike when you're in a monster truck. And run him over in it. THAT I can get on board with. What does rather get wearing is the attempts to make this go further. Speed events for instance are utterly impossible apart from the first one you unlock, Eliminator events, where the car at the back gets blown up every 15 seconds rather depends on the route you take rather than any sort of driving ability and then the 4 tracks that get recycled with different names/scenery, which results in something which is recduced to only the crashes being the thing that keeps you playing.
The crashes are realistic, to give it credit, and it has an utterly shite photo mode, to take the credit right back again. If something's happened I want to take a picture of, I will not be pausing the game at the exact second it happens, so not having a rewind feature of some sort makes the photo mode redundant. Meaning your landing on a guys head in a monster truck will just bypass you, and the opportunity is gone.
As for the vehicles you can go in, 8 classes, a bike, a quad bike, a buggy, a rally car, a racing truck, a mudplugger (jeep), a big rig and a monster truck. You can't use any of them in each race, which is a bit annoying as the only one that is any good is the rally car. Even then it's the best of a bad lot, braking makes you lose too much speed but if you don't brake you'll go round a corner, oversteer into a rock and it's another photo mode opportunity! Oh wait you missed it.
Looks wise, the best looking thing is the intro movie, which looks like a bunch of Lost cutscenes, and there's a lovely wee thing where if you get the car dirty, then drive through water, it gets cleaned. Whoopee-fucking-do. When a mobile carwash is one of the highlights of a game, it's not exactly wonderful. The online mode is brutal. Playing online twice, I never managed to finish. Bear in mind the race gets stopped 30 seconds after the winner crosses the line, you get the idea. It's run by the kind of people who got GC55's in 12 days and can finish TTFAF on Expert. Not a fun thing. Nor is it a fun game ultimately, glad I never bought this one, sorry Cogan!
Wednesday 14 April 2010
Black Swan - Athlete - Album Review
Originally posted on Bebo, 30/8/09
Carrying on from last week's anti-producer rant, we are brought to Athlete, a band on their 4th album. Their first two being produced be.... someone and while both having flashes of brilliance, being nothing better than "Athlete song? Oh yeah they done that Wires thing that was on a few tv adverts." Wires was not one of the best flashes of brilliance from these albums, but anyway. Moving on from the success of second album Tourist, thier only number one album, they decided to self-produce the follow-up, Beyond the Neighbourhood. And low and behold, it was fantastic! Managed to get on to my top 5 albums of 2007 list, in at number 4 if I recall correctly. Unfortunately, I was one of the veeeeeeeeeeeeeeeery few who thought this way. In an effort to rectify this, they brought in some unknown scrub to produce Black Swan, although a quick wiki search tells me he has produced both James Blunt albums. Not the best CV a guy could ask for.....
In what could only be described as a way to get monies again after BTN bombed, Black Swan appears to have got Radio 1 in pate form and smeared it all over the CD and thrown it out in the hope it sells. There's influence (ripping off) of Keane, Snow Patrol, Coldplay and that knobend producer has the good ole James Blunt acoustic guitars.... and the combination results in something that sounds like a production from the music department in 1984. If you opened a can from your cupboard that said "Bland, modern indie-synth pop," then Black Swan would be inside it. I've heard it 5 or 6 times since I got it yesterday and not one song from it sticks out in my mind. It's a horrible turn for a band that promised so much after BTN but rather than stick to their strengths, they sold out. Which is never a good thing, and it shows here.
Carrying on from last week's anti-producer rant, we are brought to Athlete, a band on their 4th album. Their first two being produced be.... someone and while both having flashes of brilliance, being nothing better than "Athlete song? Oh yeah they done that Wires thing that was on a few tv adverts." Wires was not one of the best flashes of brilliance from these albums, but anyway. Moving on from the success of second album Tourist, thier only number one album, they decided to self-produce the follow-up, Beyond the Neighbourhood. And low and behold, it was fantastic! Managed to get on to my top 5 albums of 2007 list, in at number 4 if I recall correctly. Unfortunately, I was one of the veeeeeeeeeeeeeeeery few who thought this way. In an effort to rectify this, they brought in some unknown scrub to produce Black Swan, although a quick wiki search tells me he has produced both James Blunt albums. Not the best CV a guy could ask for.....
In what could only be described as a way to get monies again after BTN bombed, Black Swan appears to have got Radio 1 in pate form and smeared it all over the CD and thrown it out in the hope it sells. There's influence (ripping off) of Keane, Snow Patrol, Coldplay and that knobend producer has the good ole James Blunt acoustic guitars.... and the combination results in something that sounds like a production from the music department in 1984. If you opened a can from your cupboard that said "Bland, modern indie-synth pop," then Black Swan would be inside it. I've heard it 5 or 6 times since I got it yesterday and not one song from it sticks out in my mind. It's a horrible turn for a band that promised so much after BTN but rather than stick to their strengths, they sold out. Which is never a good thing, and it shows here.
Monday 12 April 2010
Billy Talent - Billy Talent III - Album Review
Billy Talent have always been an uncompromising mob. From their early days named after sweets (not going to pretend i've heard anything from then) to now, it's been the same all the way through. Two guitars, throbbing bass and lots of cymbals. Oh and shouting, moaning about teenage problems from guys with bad facial hair that can make you cringe but somewhere seem to stick in your brain.
Getting over the ever-imaginitive title (guess what their first two albums were called), BTIII takes a new direction with a new producer in Brendan O'Brian (so far has done 3 good Pearl Jam albums, we'll see what happens to that when Backspacer comes out) and the changes from BT, BTII and BTIII are subtle but there. Rather than sounding like you're getting bawled to in the face, you now sound like you're getting bawled at down a telephone. Whilst they're playing at the bottom of a well. There's no background noise, but there's not much else either. All of the energy which made up for the annoying parts of the first two albums seems to have vanished.
But surely it's made up for my an increased maturity factor in their song-writing, no?
No
BTII had the lovely Navy Song, which was a story about boy dying at war with a bereaved girlfriend, blah blah blah but it went on that album. Turn Your Back, (Anti-Flag-less) which was the first song heard from the new album is on here and..... it doesn't stand up. It sounds like they watched the National Geographic channel for a day then decided they were the collective minds of Bono and Bob Geldof, which is never a good thing.... seeing as they're both shitstains on society but we'll not go into that now.
BTIII does have high points though. Diamond on a Landmine does the teen-angst part just perfectly, moaning about burds and the like. And it does it angrily enough (somehow, given O'Brien's horrid production) to make you believe it. White Sparrows is a lovely heartfelt story about some other poor burd dying, and it really gets you feeling the same way they do. Pitying. That a band with such energy and noise and emotion can be condensed down into a tinny 3 minute pop song rattle.
Oh and Rusted by the Rain is shite. Sounds like the bastard off spring of a Girls Aloud b-side and anything Slipknot's ever done.
(my first review, originally posted on the 23rd of August)
Getting over the ever-imaginitive title (guess what their first two albums were called), BTIII takes a new direction with a new producer in Brendan O'Brian (so far has done 3 good Pearl Jam albums, we'll see what happens to that when Backspacer comes out) and the changes from BT, BTII and BTIII are subtle but there. Rather than sounding like you're getting bawled to in the face, you now sound like you're getting bawled at down a telephone. Whilst they're playing at the bottom of a well. There's no background noise, but there's not much else either. All of the energy which made up for the annoying parts of the first two albums seems to have vanished.
But surely it's made up for my an increased maturity factor in their song-writing, no?
No
BTII had the lovely Navy Song, which was a story about boy dying at war with a bereaved girlfriend, blah blah blah but it went on that album. Turn Your Back, (Anti-Flag-less) which was the first song heard from the new album is on here and..... it doesn't stand up. It sounds like they watched the National Geographic channel for a day then decided they were the collective minds of Bono and Bob Geldof, which is never a good thing.... seeing as they're both shitstains on society but we'll not go into that now.
BTIII does have high points though. Diamond on a Landmine does the teen-angst part just perfectly, moaning about burds and the like. And it does it angrily enough (somehow, given O'Brien's horrid production) to make you believe it. White Sparrows is a lovely heartfelt story about some other poor burd dying, and it really gets you feeling the same way they do. Pitying. That a band with such energy and noise and emotion can be condensed down into a tinny 3 minute pop song rattle.
Oh and Rusted by the Rain is shite. Sounds like the bastard off spring of a Girls Aloud b-side and anything Slipknot's ever done.
(my first review, originally posted on the 23rd of August)
I Think Gary Glitter Just Blew a Nut
Final Fantasy XIII - PS3 Game Review
As far as my experience of playing RPG's goes, it's not wonderful. It's only ever been Pokemon for me, and lets be fair, a Game Boy screen isn't exactly the same as a next-gen console, and in terms of credability, there's quite a difference. Pokemon is a franchise that spawned just about every form of media (one of the films was on channel 2 the other day, fuck me, so awful), while Final Fantasy is one of the more socially questionable things to enjoy, going by what I hear from them. I've never played one before, being put off by the concept of there being more than one game that by the name states the first should be the last, but as it was the only thing to rent, I decided to give #13 a go.
From the moment I put the disc in I knew it was a bad idea. The game starting in some strange floating planet that's got fighting, with some wee twerp with blue hair, another twerp with hair that looked like fire and a crappy body warmer all led by an 8 ft tall guy in a trench coat with this irritating wee bit of hair between his eyes hanging from his bandana that whatever the circumstances never seems to move. This big chap is of course Snow, someone whose cheeky confidence you're supposed to warm to throughout. Alrighty then.
On to another story thread (with no warning) and we have a burd who's apparently a soldier, although the hot-pants she had on made me slightly suspicious as to which army she was with. Add to this the fact her name is Lightning and that she looks like Kimi Raikkonen, you know she's going to be someone that you can admire. She was paired with the token black guy, who is completely in no way a racial stereotype and will not die at any point in the game (none of them do I don't think), but he may as well be wearing the "I-die-or-turn-evil-t-shirt." You can imagine the kind of awful lines he's going to hit out with too. Don't forget that a small bird lives in his afro that he frequently talks to.
If you thought these 3 were bad, then it gets worse. Snow decides to get a rag-tag bunch of misfits together to fight the evil oppression (don't even ask, i'll come back to that later) and in the process, some burd (who we later find out is called Nora, rather hilariously) dies. That would be fine, were she not the mother of the saddest, most pathetic example of a human being I have ever come across both in gaming and in real life. Rather horribly, he's called Hope. Despite being so pathetic he probably cries if he steps in a puddle, he is still able, like all the characters, to pull a boomerang out his arse (literally) and fight stuff ranging from giant robotic bulbasaurs to something called a "Ushumgal Subjugator" without a moments thought, then going back to being weedy, un-fit and pathetic. Fantastic consistency.
There is hope for.... Hope however, as he's accompanied by a small ginger burd called Vanille, who like everyone has questionable clothing. Her lack of clothing however is made up for by the fact that she is the most ridiculously over-the-top enternally optimistic little freak to ever have been imagined by human kind. I am honestly at a loss for how to describe her, she's so.... irritating it beggars belief, and with her Australian accent (christ knows how we get Australian accents here) it just gets worse as the game goes on. Not to mention that any time this burd isn't speaking she's making horrible little giggly moans and groans, and you start to think that this game is designed by the kind of oddballs who normally make people like this with tentacles going up her vagina.
The opening sequences of the game don't exactly fill you with much hope if you were expecting something good, going down some very linear and very samey corridors fighting indentical enemies all the way through is rather boring, and it lasts for quite a while. In fairness, this never really changed throughout the game, only the scenery really changes, granted there's a few ridiculous bossfights as I mentioned earlier, but there's not much variety. This is apt however, as there's not much variety in the fighting system. It's turn based, and like good ole Pokemon, you start out with a few moves, and as you defeat more and better enemies you get more and better attacks. The only problem with this is the agonising wait for your hit meter to fill up so you can use them again, while whatever you're fighting with is beating the shit out you with attacks that would normally make a human disintegrate. There are things you can do, such as discern the attributes of your enemies (yawn) or use items, like potions, to re-fill you health.
This awful fighting system is buoyed slightly with the introduction of "Paradigm Shifting," where you can change what type of attacks your party members will carry out. This can get quite annoyinh when you've only got two people (see Lightning/Hope) and you have to change non-stop in order to keep yourself alive while still putting up a decent fight. In one boss battle where I only had Lightning and Hope, it took me 21 minutes to finish, only to be told rather smugly that the recommended time was 8. Unless I was missing something quite drastic, the game was talking out its arse, which does get quite wearing after a while. It is slightly more bearable when you can go up to 3 fighting party members, but this is even more irritating as you can't choose who you control, nor who else fights with you at any given moment. This means that all the upgrades you put into a character to make them your (only) really good medic are wasted if they're not fighting. That and the leveling up system is absurd, winning battles gets you points to put towards upgrades, but the upgrading takes place in this weird thing called the Crystarium (or something, I never payed much attention to it) which looks like a cross between the movie Tron and a pack of pastel-coloured crayons. It's utterly pointless as well, simply a few drop-down menus would have done the exact same job and made you want to vomit less.
On the subject of looks, one thing that the makers can be commended for is imagination. While the majority of the game takes place in what are essentially giant corridors, the background to these is spectacular if ridiculous. You shift from lush green grass lands to war-torn cities to giant blue forests to a crystalised ocean. For some odd reason you get flashbacks everynow and then which take you to "The Seaside City of Bodhum" where you get to learn about the characters (BORING) backstories, even getting to play Snow as he runs after his poor fiance once she's found out she is a l'Cie.
What now follows is an attempt at making sense of the uttely awful story into something that could provide reasons for anything that 've so far witnessed:
There are two worlds, Pulse with one floating aboive it called Cocoon
Cocoon is inhabited by big robots called Fal'Cie
Fal'Cie's can turn people into l'Cie's by giving them a mark
If they l'Cie complete their focus (even though they don't know what it is), they gain eternal life
Makes sense, sort of. Only problem is that everyone in Cocoon hates people from Pulse, particularly l'Cie, they have a guerrila corps army specifically designed to deal with them. I think that's everything, the only problem is that none of this is clearly explained, Even the flashbacks explain buggar all, and only set out to make the characters more annoying and less identifiable with. Honestly, even with my playtime (which I think was around 14 hours), I didn't give a rats arse about anyone, the entire world of Cocoon (I think that's where it is) could blow up and I wouldn't even be pissed that the ending was crap, only happy there was one.
Whatever the end result of all of that is I don't know (I think i'm just past halfway), but I do have some praise for Final Fantasy 13. Despite all of its glaring failures, facepalm moments and dialogue that will make you ashamed language was invented.... I grew to like it. I don't quite know what it was, be it simply a desire to finish, a desire to see how bad it got or a begrudging admiration for it... but I would consider buying it. Although my experience in the field is limited, it does seem like a good example of a JRPG, and i'd quite like to finish it, so you could say I enjoyed it. Maybe even liked it.
==================================
Next Week, hopefuilly MGMT will go back to being brilliant so I can enjoy them without hearing Kids mk II being blared everywhere...
As far as my experience of playing RPG's goes, it's not wonderful. It's only ever been Pokemon for me, and lets be fair, a Game Boy screen isn't exactly the same as a next-gen console, and in terms of credability, there's quite a difference. Pokemon is a franchise that spawned just about every form of media (one of the films was on channel 2 the other day, fuck me, so awful), while Final Fantasy is one of the more socially questionable things to enjoy, going by what I hear from them. I've never played one before, being put off by the concept of there being more than one game that by the name states the first should be the last, but as it was the only thing to rent, I decided to give #13 a go.
From the moment I put the disc in I knew it was a bad idea. The game starting in some strange floating planet that's got fighting, with some wee twerp with blue hair, another twerp with hair that looked like fire and a crappy body warmer all led by an 8 ft tall guy in a trench coat with this irritating wee bit of hair between his eyes hanging from his bandana that whatever the circumstances never seems to move. This big chap is of course Snow, someone whose cheeky confidence you're supposed to warm to throughout. Alrighty then.
On to another story thread (with no warning) and we have a burd who's apparently a soldier, although the hot-pants she had on made me slightly suspicious as to which army she was with. Add to this the fact her name is Lightning and that she looks like Kimi Raikkonen, you know she's going to be someone that you can admire. She was paired with the token black guy, who is completely in no way a racial stereotype and will not die at any point in the game (none of them do I don't think), but he may as well be wearing the "I-die-or-turn-evil-t-shirt." You can imagine the kind of awful lines he's going to hit out with too. Don't forget that a small bird lives in his afro that he frequently talks to.
If you thought these 3 were bad, then it gets worse. Snow decides to get a rag-tag bunch of misfits together to fight the evil oppression (don't even ask, i'll come back to that later) and in the process, some burd (who we later find out is called Nora, rather hilariously) dies. That would be fine, were she not the mother of the saddest, most pathetic example of a human being I have ever come across both in gaming and in real life. Rather horribly, he's called Hope. Despite being so pathetic he probably cries if he steps in a puddle, he is still able, like all the characters, to pull a boomerang out his arse (literally) and fight stuff ranging from giant robotic bulbasaurs to something called a "Ushumgal Subjugator" without a moments thought, then going back to being weedy, un-fit and pathetic. Fantastic consistency.
There is hope for.... Hope however, as he's accompanied by a small ginger burd called Vanille, who like everyone has questionable clothing. Her lack of clothing however is made up for by the fact that she is the most ridiculously over-the-top enternally optimistic little freak to ever have been imagined by human kind. I am honestly at a loss for how to describe her, she's so.... irritating it beggars belief, and with her Australian accent (christ knows how we get Australian accents here) it just gets worse as the game goes on. Not to mention that any time this burd isn't speaking she's making horrible little giggly moans and groans, and you start to think that this game is designed by the kind of oddballs who normally make people like this with tentacles going up her vagina.
The opening sequences of the game don't exactly fill you with much hope if you were expecting something good, going down some very linear and very samey corridors fighting indentical enemies all the way through is rather boring, and it lasts for quite a while. In fairness, this never really changed throughout the game, only the scenery really changes, granted there's a few ridiculous bossfights as I mentioned earlier, but there's not much variety. This is apt however, as there's not much variety in the fighting system. It's turn based, and like good ole Pokemon, you start out with a few moves, and as you defeat more and better enemies you get more and better attacks. The only problem with this is the agonising wait for your hit meter to fill up so you can use them again, while whatever you're fighting with is beating the shit out you with attacks that would normally make a human disintegrate. There are things you can do, such as discern the attributes of your enemies (yawn) or use items, like potions, to re-fill you health.
This awful fighting system is buoyed slightly with the introduction of "Paradigm Shifting," where you can change what type of attacks your party members will carry out. This can get quite annoyinh when you've only got two people (see Lightning/Hope) and you have to change non-stop in order to keep yourself alive while still putting up a decent fight. In one boss battle where I only had Lightning and Hope, it took me 21 minutes to finish, only to be told rather smugly that the recommended time was 8. Unless I was missing something quite drastic, the game was talking out its arse, which does get quite wearing after a while. It is slightly more bearable when you can go up to 3 fighting party members, but this is even more irritating as you can't choose who you control, nor who else fights with you at any given moment. This means that all the upgrades you put into a character to make them your (only) really good medic are wasted if they're not fighting. That and the leveling up system is absurd, winning battles gets you points to put towards upgrades, but the upgrading takes place in this weird thing called the Crystarium (or something, I never payed much attention to it) which looks like a cross between the movie Tron and a pack of pastel-coloured crayons. It's utterly pointless as well, simply a few drop-down menus would have done the exact same job and made you want to vomit less.
On the subject of looks, one thing that the makers can be commended for is imagination. While the majority of the game takes place in what are essentially giant corridors, the background to these is spectacular if ridiculous. You shift from lush green grass lands to war-torn cities to giant blue forests to a crystalised ocean. For some odd reason you get flashbacks everynow and then which take you to "The Seaside City of Bodhum" where you get to learn about the characters (BORING) backstories, even getting to play Snow as he runs after his poor fiance once she's found out she is a l'Cie.
What now follows is an attempt at making sense of the uttely awful story into something that could provide reasons for anything that 've so far witnessed:
There are two worlds, Pulse with one floating aboive it called Cocoon
Cocoon is inhabited by big robots called Fal'Cie
Fal'Cie's can turn people into l'Cie's by giving them a mark
If they l'Cie complete their focus (even though they don't know what it is), they gain eternal life
Makes sense, sort of. Only problem is that everyone in Cocoon hates people from Pulse, particularly l'Cie, they have a guerrila corps army specifically designed to deal with them. I think that's everything, the only problem is that none of this is clearly explained, Even the flashbacks explain buggar all, and only set out to make the characters more annoying and less identifiable with. Honestly, even with my playtime (which I think was around 14 hours), I didn't give a rats arse about anyone, the entire world of Cocoon (I think that's where it is) could blow up and I wouldn't even be pissed that the ending was crap, only happy there was one.
Whatever the end result of all of that is I don't know (I think i'm just past halfway), but I do have some praise for Final Fantasy 13. Despite all of its glaring failures, facepalm moments and dialogue that will make you ashamed language was invented.... I grew to like it. I don't quite know what it was, be it simply a desire to finish, a desire to see how bad it got or a begrudging admiration for it... but I would consider buying it. Although my experience in the field is limited, it does seem like a good example of a JRPG, and i'd quite like to finish it, so you could say I enjoyed it. Maybe even liked it.
==================================
Next Week, hopefuilly MGMT will go back to being brilliant so I can enjoy them without hearing Kids mk II being blared everywhere...
Saturday 10 April 2010
Oh, hi there!
So, now that Bebo finally looks to be succumbing to the death rattle of the short-attention span that is the product of 21st Century Life, I have moved my thoughts elsewhere. I hope you enjoy them.
Things I Have an Opinion On #19
The news that AOL has put Bebo up for sale.
I've put this blog off for a while, for two reasons. Both laziness and enkoying watching the hypocrisy of the sayings from people in my lifestream. First thing, find me an article which said it was being closed down last night. Better yet, one that says it's being shut down now. Can you? No. AOL says that if there's no buyer by the END OF MAY then it will be shut down. A whole month and a half there for people with no access to calendars.
I've never liked AOL. I never liked this advert: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g35-39XZIhk, the burd with the dress that showed the internet scared me, and I hate watching old episodes of Friends and seeing a thing at the bottom of the screen at the end saying AOL Keyword: Friends, who cares about your shite AOL Keywords? My hatred of AOL intesified when as a complete computer noob, I was subjected to their shite browser and log-in service, the annoying sound of dial-up and the idiotic option to have Alan Partridge tell me if I have e-mail or not. Scratch that, he was amazing. But still, AOL is shite.
No wonder then that they buy a website for 850 million in 2008 (a good time for bebo, my peak of profile views came in June of that year) and less than two years want to flush it all down the pan, what a pile of shite. Granted, Bebo is losing users but that simply brings up the question, why?
It seems they've all pissed off to Facebook which in my opinion is astounding. Asking a friend today (Barry McAuley, if you want to scold him) what was so much better about it, and he said that you can "like" statuses. Fantastic. In this internet-centred world where the English language is going to pot, the best feature of a website is something that allows you to not bother even writing that you appreciate what someone says, simply clicking a button that tells the person such. Outstanding. As anything that butchers the already crippled medium of proper communication makes me want to vomit, you can pretty much say I detest the core values of facebook already.
Why do I have it then you ask? Because everyone else does. However, what I fail to see is how it is this centre-point for so many people, with people claiming omg fb addiction! (i'm looking at you, Samantha Jones. Seriously, no-one cares) and me constantly being offered free gifts in Farmville. Look, I tried Farmville, it's shite. If I want to play games on a screen, i'll do something that doesn't involve growing fucking crops for a non-existant people. Nor do I care about the sort of groups I see, stuff titled "that moment when you're asleep but you think you're falling and you wake up and you realise that you were asleep," coupled with the volume of Sickipedia jokes that get passed off as original material. Why? What is so wonderful about this that you had to do it on Facebook rather than the Bebo sites that just about everyone had? Is it the pretty blue stripe at the top as opposed to the black one?
On the matter of page design, Facebook is simply another tool of the NWO to make everyone identical. Do you want an individual colour scheme on your home page? Bebo says yes, have whatever you like! Make your own shitey ones proclaiming love for someone who'll dump you in a week if you please! Facebook says no. You're not getting one, and all your page font will be irritatingly small and turn everything into your list of telly programmes/music into hyperlinks. Outstanding. As a skin-maker (a very poor one, by my own admission), I like personalising my page with whatever I feel strongly about at the time (although I never made an In Rainbows one annoyingly), I like knowing that when someone (most recently Dominique, although Cogan and Conner like to send me mean things occasionally) bothers to go on my page or leave a comment that they will see a picture of a road in Billings, Montana, or that they will see Chris Stewart or they will see Radiohead in all caps. Facebook, no dice.
Bebo's been good over the years. Providing both a platform for my thoughts and a platform for stalking, paedophilia, the failed Colony of Comedians, secret communicae and many a heightened discussion between me and many others, all you Facebook snobs cannot deny that it's been good to you, and that it's ironic that everyone saying "wow lol, bebo's still here, does anyone care?" (Laura Moore this time, was David's chocolate starfish delicious? Just so you know, this has put paid to both Kirsty Black and Dylan McCrones ability to eat Milky Way Magic Stars) has simply proven that despite your claims, you still care about bebo on some level if you've came back to mock its demise.
Well, I think i've said all I have to say on this matter. As Bebo's future is uncertain, I shall now be doing what I told myself I would do ages ago (I think its creation date is Sep 09), and actually using a blog website to put out my thoughts.
http://theunreasonablevoiceofreason.blogspot.com/
Suscribe, enjoy and consider yourself with a heartfelt thank you from me if you're ever taken time to read anything i've put out here. Take note that from now on on Bebo, I will again be ripping off Craig Johnstone and posting my true feelings on just about everything.
I've put this blog off for a while, for two reasons. Both laziness and enkoying watching the hypocrisy of the sayings from people in my lifestream. First thing, find me an article which said it was being closed down last night. Better yet, one that says it's being shut down now. Can you? No. AOL says that if there's no buyer by the END OF MAY then it will be shut down. A whole month and a half there for people with no access to calendars.
I've never liked AOL. I never liked this advert: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g35-39XZIhk, the burd with the dress that showed the internet scared me, and I hate watching old episodes of Friends and seeing a thing at the bottom of the screen at the end saying AOL Keyword: Friends, who cares about your shite AOL Keywords? My hatred of AOL intesified when as a complete computer noob, I was subjected to their shite browser and log-in service, the annoying sound of dial-up and the idiotic option to have Alan Partridge tell me if I have e-mail or not. Scratch that, he was amazing. But still, AOL is shite.
No wonder then that they buy a website for 850 million in 2008 (a good time for bebo, my peak of profile views came in June of that year) and less than two years want to flush it all down the pan, what a pile of shite. Granted, Bebo is losing users but that simply brings up the question, why?
It seems they've all pissed off to Facebook which in my opinion is astounding. Asking a friend today (Barry McAuley, if you want to scold him) what was so much better about it, and he said that you can "like" statuses. Fantastic. In this internet-centred world where the English language is going to pot, the best feature of a website is something that allows you to not bother even writing that you appreciate what someone says, simply clicking a button that tells the person such. Outstanding. As anything that butchers the already crippled medium of proper communication makes me want to vomit, you can pretty much say I detest the core values of facebook already.
Why do I have it then you ask? Because everyone else does. However, what I fail to see is how it is this centre-point for so many people, with people claiming omg fb addiction! (i'm looking at you, Samantha Jones. Seriously, no-one cares) and me constantly being offered free gifts in Farmville. Look, I tried Farmville, it's shite. If I want to play games on a screen, i'll do something that doesn't involve growing fucking crops for a non-existant people. Nor do I care about the sort of groups I see, stuff titled "that moment when you're asleep but you think you're falling and you wake up and you realise that you were asleep," coupled with the volume of Sickipedia jokes that get passed off as original material. Why? What is so wonderful about this that you had to do it on Facebook rather than the Bebo sites that just about everyone had? Is it the pretty blue stripe at the top as opposed to the black one?
On the matter of page design, Facebook is simply another tool of the NWO to make everyone identical. Do you want an individual colour scheme on your home page? Bebo says yes, have whatever you like! Make your own shitey ones proclaiming love for someone who'll dump you in a week if you please! Facebook says no. You're not getting one, and all your page font will be irritatingly small and turn everything into your list of telly programmes/music into hyperlinks. Outstanding. As a skin-maker (a very poor one, by my own admission), I like personalising my page with whatever I feel strongly about at the time (although I never made an In Rainbows one annoyingly), I like knowing that when someone (most recently Dominique, although Cogan and Conner like to send me mean things occasionally) bothers to go on my page or leave a comment that they will see a picture of a road in Billings, Montana, or that they will see Chris Stewart or they will see Radiohead in all caps. Facebook, no dice.
Bebo's been good over the years. Providing both a platform for my thoughts and a platform for stalking, paedophilia, the failed Colony of Comedians, secret communicae and many a heightened discussion between me and many others, all you Facebook snobs cannot deny that it's been good to you, and that it's ironic that everyone saying "wow lol, bebo's still here, does anyone care?" (Laura Moore this time, was David's chocolate starfish delicious? Just so you know, this has put paid to both Kirsty Black and Dylan McCrones ability to eat Milky Way Magic Stars) has simply proven that despite your claims, you still care about bebo on some level if you've came back to mock its demise.
Well, I think i've said all I have to say on this matter. As Bebo's future is uncertain, I shall now be doing what I told myself I would do ages ago (I think its creation date is Sep 09), and actually using a blog website to put out my thoughts.
http://theunreasonablevoiceofreason.blogspot.com/
Suscribe, enjoy and consider yourself with a heartfelt thank you from me if you're ever taken time to read anything i've put out here. Take note that from now on on Bebo, I will again be ripping off Craig Johnstone and posting my true feelings on just about everything.
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