Things I Have an Opinion On #12

Originally posted on 1/3/10

2010 Olympic Winter Games

In the build-up to these games, there was more than a little controversy. You can use this: http://2010observers.bccla.org/censorship-gallery/ if you'd like to see the absurd censorship levels exercised in the Vancouver area. Couple this with a distinct lack of snow, rumours of the over-spend on the budget making Holyrood look like a bargain, and it wasn't looking too good. Now in a Winter Olympics, the first thing I was always going to care about was the hockey, so we'll deal with that first. Of the entire Colorado Avalanche roster and prospects, 4 people went. Paul Stastny for USA, Peter Budaj for Slovakia, Ruslan Salei for Belarus and Jonas Holos for Norway. While you could say it reflects poorly on the team that we only have 4 Olympians that are with us now, it should help us for the remaining 20 games, and the players who went gave a good account of themselves. Holos was outstanding for the Norwegians, and I look forward to seeing him suit up in burgandy and blue in a few years. Budaj never played, but Slovakia almost made the final, and for someone who is such a team player, you can guarantee he would've been a key part of them getting so far. Salei was just coming back from a knee (or back, I could never remember) injury, so anything he did was good to see, although I was convinced he was right-handed when I saw my first Belarus game, but evidently not. Stazz was a different kettle of fish however, as while he was within a goal of a gold medal, and played most of the time with Zach Parise and or Patrick Kane, I wasn't overly impressed with him. It was nice to see hockey on the telly again though, as I could actually see where the puck was, rather than using a stream at around 600px that dies whenever I sit in a different position in my chair. This of course however leaves you at the mercy of the two eejits that the BBC have to commentate on hockey, Brent Pope and Bob Ballard. Ballard is the worst kind of play-by-play commentator, the kind of someone who uses wee bits of slang thinking it'll make him appear knowledgeable to people who know nothing. It may well do, but for people like me, it just seems stupid. That and he cannot for the life of him pronounce "Pavelski." Note: It's spelled phoenetically. Other gems from him these Olympics include:

"If the USA had ten Brian Rafalski's, they'd be set"
"Nash, to Crosby, unfortunately for the Canadians they don't have Stills and Young"
"Miller's a bit wiry, he looks like he could do with a good feed"
"Brian Burke is a bit more outspoken than Ron Wilson"

Pope must've felt left out however, giving it: "Toronto is the Mecca of global ice hockey in the NHL"

For the final, when it was the only thing on and they had to cover it, you had to laugh behind the thinking for presenter allocation. In the studio we had Steve Cram, some Canadian burd who won a skiing gold a few years back and Matthew Pinsent. Pinsent apparently watched hockey in Turin and "got right into it." Riiiiiiiiiiiiight. That'll be why you said that "The Canadians level of patriotism about these games has even reached that of the Americans." Almost as good as Steve giving it "The Canadians almost feel as if they invented ice hockey" in his dulcet Geordie tones whilst poring over the morning papers.

Embarassing coverage aside (I could've done a better job), the competition as a whole was fantastic, with a final worthy of any competition. Only problem was Sindey fucking Crosby scoring the winner. While I daresay it'll be mostly non-hockey fans who read this, please don't view this wee twerp as the face of the NHL. He jumps people from faceoffs: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c53DZ9iHrJE, he sucker-punches: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4wqR17KrLKw and ever since he came into the league 4 years ago, has bitched and moaned about EVERYTHING. That he is being used as the face of the league world wide and while I realise it's not all down to his doing, I, and just about every hockey fan is sick of it. There are better players and better role models who could and should be used to market the game worldwide (see; Matt Duchene: http://www.milehighhockey.com/2010/2/23/1322799/make-mine-duchene)

All-in though, it was a tournament that we can be proud of. Just get rid of OLE OLE OLE after goals, airhorns and Canadian hockey fans in Canada. And get the NHL to Sochi in 2014, or better yet, get Gary Bettman out a job!

There were other sports at the games, and one of them I fell in love with was curling, something that Britain are actually good at (supposedly). Aside from the eye candy on offer (see Eve Muirhead, Sweden, 3/4 of Russia and whoever was playing lead for Denmark), it was a sport that was fairly easy to pick up, considering i'd never seen a game of it before. The strategy and planning involved was fascinating, and while some say it's not a sport (i've heard it described as bowling with strategy, and not a sport because pregnant women can do it) I think it was outstanding, although I would have liked at least one medal for Britain from it.

What really stood out for me this time however was the commentary. Featuring Steve Cram (who, to his credit, knew what he was talking about) and Rhona (Colin Hendry) Martin, I have never been as entertained in my life. I'm fairly sure that they've started pumping as a result of their partnership, and their exchanges were like nothing you've ever heard. For instance, the use of the word "guddle" by Rhona. Steve, being Geordie, had no idea what she was on about, and required an explanation, him saying he thought she had been saying "girdle." Both cringeworthy and hilarious in equal measure. As was them talking about things like where to go for lunch, whether the king of Norway would partake in a Mexican wave, and just general off-hand comments. Some of their guests were an absolute treat as well. Despite following it almost religiously for the last two weeks, I missed Wayne Gretzky being there. I did get to hear Carl Lewis talk about running for 15 minutes however, and in the mens playoff between Britain and Sweden, dear Paula pissypants Radcliffe. When the Brits were faced with a lot of Swedish stones to be removed, Paula, in one of her regular 15 minute intervals with which to share her though, remarked "they should just spin one round and knock everything out." Quite. Aside from the faults, it was still enjoyable to watch, and i'll be right behind all the chookters throwing stones down a sheet of ice in 4 years.

For a country with poorly thought-out presenter/commentator distribution for a winter games, you wouldn't expect many medals. Our skaters were lucky to get anywhere, our bobsleigh team failed miserably, our curlers choked, our snowboard cross burd hurt her shin and the figure skaters never did too well. Our only medal came from the skeleton, basically a tea-tray on skates going down a huge chute. Looked like tremendous fun, and our gold came from Amy Williams, beating a rather tasty German burd into 2nd. Not bad for someone from a country with no skeleton track, although we probably could have got more medals.

All-in-all, despite its faults, you'd have to say that the 21st Olympic Winter Games were a success. They also taught us that hockey is something else that women shouldn't be allowed to play. Boy was that awful.